at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
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I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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