I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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