The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize