allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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