She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize