Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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