My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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