I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize