And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize