Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
they're like a gay fantastic four
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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