I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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