C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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