i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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