I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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