Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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