I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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