my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wish my penis had a tongue
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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