Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You made out with two different species that night
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize