I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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