Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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