I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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