Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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