Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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