I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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