What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wannas sexs uuuuu
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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