Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
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If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
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I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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