Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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