shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize