It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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