dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize