using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize