On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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