i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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