Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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