I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
