my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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