dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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