May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize