She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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