I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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