So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
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Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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