i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
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I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
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The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
there is puke in my bra ... again
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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