Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Im part way to drunk.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize