I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
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He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize