i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize