please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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