I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
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So squirting runs in the family.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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