whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize