She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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