Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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