just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize